Is your sex life not satisfying enough?
Are you bored of always using the same old orifices?
Are you tired of getting rejected?
If your answer to one of these questions is "yes", then NECROPHILIA may just be the thing for you!
Discover a whole new range of orifices, such as eye sockets, bullet wounds, or even self-made orifices!
100% No rejection guaranteed!
You can now discover the advantages of NECROPHILIA at a cemetery near you!
1) Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Besides rigor mortis, there's also a thing called called purge fluid. It's a liquid that oozes from corpses. So depending on the state of decay of a corpse, you may not need lube, you may need lube, or you may need a blowdryer. The folks at silentlovers.com have a nifty little chart for that.
2) Some claim that there is such a thing as "ZOMG Zombie Baby Birth" but that's probably just rumours. So no, you don't need a latex condom, balloon, or sheep intestine.
3) Sure! Why else would Necrophilia rhyme with the Italian word for family: familia?
4) Good form is getting the hell out of there before the cops come.
The chart is on its way. My Transylvanian internet connection doesn't allow those fancy modern high speeds, but you'll get it... before you die.
As for your second question: Hook up a dildo to a diesel generator. Insert the dildo somewhere inside the body, and try to put your cock somewhere else in the corpse... I say "try" because the corpse will quite likely do a lot of bouncing around. If it really doesn't work, turn down the power from the diesel generator.