Jizzfountain's Page

"sniff allie browns heavily soiled tights and panties while you jack off into a bees nest wearing a bra,stockings and a burka"

"Well, I was in the hospital one day because I had a hard on for like, three days straight.  Anyway, I see this dude raping a nurse on the floor.  So I whacked him upside the head with my prong and he blacks out.  Meanwhile, these two…"

"Ok, since so many people have asked, I will post my recipe for DIY sticky notes.  Step one, jerk off.  Step two, slurp up all the jizz. Step three, lick the jizz all over a kleenex tissue.  Let it dry flat.  When you need a…"

"Wouldn't that make it go limp? "

"Rip it off and use it as a dildo?"

"OMG thanks so much! You guys are brilliant!  My sisters pillow is stuffed up mums twat so that's no good. And I used the fire ants to clean off my neighbors skulls. But the razor bat idea..... I never would have thought of it!  There…"

"FINGER THE FUCK OUT OF IT WITH A RUSTY CHAIN-MAIL GLOVE WHILST WANKING LIKE AN AIDS MONKEY ON PAY DAY"

"or can you bend your dick enough to fuck your own rectum? this might give a relief as well. otherwise you'll have to bear (or enjoy??) your blue balls syndrom."

"you could rub the end against a cheese grinder and then drip the claret over your sisters pillow.. the tooth fairy will be cunningly deceived and deposit a wealth of fairy dust up your arse which you can rub on your tool to make it feel beter"

"what can you do against that?"

"No, it is not normal.  Most people use peanut butter instead of gravy."