So I was searching for money around the hosue yesterday (I'm broke), and, when I looked under my mom's matress, I found her vibrator.
So, of course, I approach her and show her the dildo. She freaks out. Before I could get anything out, she panics, and gets down and starts sucking my cock. I mean, I felt kinda bad for her (she had a dildo for a reason), so I didn't stop her.
After about 20 mnutes of her sucking me off, I take the dildo, and shove it in her ass, and she starts moaning. but, then I pull it out, and I feel a little resistance. She starts freaking out, and I pull harder. finally, I pull it out, but I also gave her a hemorrhoid when I did so because her asshole was so tight. Her asshole was hanging out by a foot, and it was flopping all around during the whole ride. I actually got hit in the face with it and I got some 'roid juice in my mouth. It was radical.
So, we're in an ambulance, right? and we're going to the hospital.
Anyways, we get to the hospital, and she goes straight to the emergency room. While she's in there, some old fart nurse asks me what happened. so I told her the whole story. She freaks out.
So, this bitch falls on the floor in shock, and immediatley, of course, I start nibbling on her loose clit on her wrinkled old pussy.
Everyone starts freaking out. I mean, they're freaking out, while at the same time they're looking at what I'm doing. And I'M the bad guy.
So, anyways, I stick my cock in her cunt, and start fucking her like a fucking animal.
Then, after a while, I get hit in the head, and I black out.
Next thing I know, I'm in jail.
So, what's some of YOUR crazy fuckin' stories?