The Anti-Social Network

So I was searching for money around the hosue yesterday (I'm broke), and, when I looked under my mom's matress, I found her vibrator.
So, of course, I approach her and show her the dildo. She freaks out. Before I could get anything out, she panics, and gets down and starts sucking my cock. I mean, I felt kinda bad for her (she had a dildo for a reason), so I didn't stop her.
After about 20 mnutes of her sucking me off, I take the dildo, and shove it in her ass, and she starts moaning. but, then I pull it out, and I feel a little resistance. She starts freaking out, and I pull harder. finally, I pull it out, but I also gave her a hemorrhoid when I did so because her asshole was so tight. Her asshole was hanging out by a foot, and it was flopping all around during the whole ride. I actually got hit in the face with it and I got some 'roid juice in my mouth. It was radical.
So, we're in an ambulance, right? and we're going to the hospital.
Anyways, we get to the hospital, and she goes straight to the emergency room. While she's in there, some old fart nurse asks me what happened. so I told her the whole story. She freaks out.
So, this bitch falls on the floor in shock, and immediatley, of course, I start nibbling on her loose clit on her wrinkled old pussy.
Everyone starts freaking out. I mean, they're freaking out, while at the same time they're looking at what I'm doing. And I'M the bad guy.
So, anyways, I stick my cock in her cunt, and start fucking her like a fucking animal.
Then, after a while, I get hit in the head, and I black out.
Next thing I know, I'm in jail.

So, what's some of YOUR crazy fuckin' stories?

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Comment by Spermy, The Dog on June 7, 2012 at 9:32pm

Ah, it's fine. Dude, that thing was fucking hard, though. I blacked out instantly. It's a good thing you at least came in to see a doctor.

Comment by Jizzfountain on June 7, 2012 at 8:27pm

Well, I was in the hospital one day because I had a hard on for like, three days straight.  Anyway, I see this dude raping a nurse on the floor.  So I whacked him upside the head with my prong and he blacks out.  Meanwhile, these two hot nurses were really impressed that I had saved their boss from getting raped.  I asked them to help me out my looking at my cock, which had been hard for three days.  Well, one thing led to another and after an overnight stay in the intensive care ward, my boner finally went away.  I must have jizzed like a thousand times.  

I hear they hauled the dude off to jail, where he got sodomized by a trucker named Bubba.  I didn't know it was you, man. sorry.

Comment by Hugh Jass on June 7, 2012 at 12:11pm
thats nothing jobbie pants ya big bi-sexual bastard i once trained a juggling toad to finger my wives pussy as i used a coconut to poke her in the rectum on a wednesday

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